I mentioned in prior posts how we only recently moved into our current abode. Eight months ago, in fact. We’re still going through the growing pains of figuring out how our new neighborhood operates.
This includes uncovering the following mysteries:
new old people on the block, we want to fit in. Or at least not stand out as the PF (problem family). Every block has at least one, and I did not want to opt-in for that role.
Turns out, the Christmas light situation leaves us as exactly that: That Family. The Dark House. The People with Obviously Weird Religious Beliefs that Prevent Them from Celebrating Holidays Like Normal Human Beings.
I should add that when we first moved into this house the whole block seemed abuzz with activity. Each time we had a reason to come to the house during negotiations and moving in, someone would be walking a dog, mowing their lawn or otherwise be outside watching to see who would be their new neighbors.
The day we moved in, neighbors on either side of us came over to chat, shake our hands, and let us know they were here if we needed them.
Those would be the last conversations we’d ever have with those people.
No, nothing tragic happened to any of them. They simply seemingly disappeared, like extras in a movie who were hired for a small bit part and then went back to their real lives.
I admit, some of their invites were a little weird.
For example, after finding out I was a fitness professional, one neighbor suggested I stop by “anytime” to meet his daughter because “she weighs out all her food before she eats it, too.”
Interesting, but umm… no.
Food measuring bonanza aside, I did make an effort to be accepted into the fold and was ready to play along this Halloween (my husband and I usually keep the lights off and sit in the corner of a dark room to avoid having to answer the door) and bought a big bag of candy.
Then no one — not a single, sheet-draped ghost — showed up. (For the record, I gave the candy away to a handyman in lieu of eating it myself or tossing it out.)
Christmas is a different story. Non-participation shows up like the face-shaped mountain on the moon. Everyone notices, but few people say anything about it.
The problem is, our new block consists of people who seem to have a competition for the greatest number of lights ever hung in a single square inch of space.
One house down the street, for example, features an ice skating Santa and mechanical elves dancing around a “frozen” pond, alongside a ferris wheel of presents and flying reindeer on the roof. Another yard is decked out with bobbing reindeer “eating” off the lawn, and every bush in his front yard lit up in a display visible from the Space Shuttle.
Then there’s our house. We have ZERO outdoor lights. It’s literally the neighborhood black hole where all fun and festivities are sucked into and go to die.
So driving down our street is: BLINDING BLINDING/BLINKING COLOR WHITE BLINDING dark house (us) BLINDING BLINKING
Personally, I’d like some lights on the house, but my husband is not into it and I’m not about to get up on a ladder and propagate this project.
In short, block party invites are not exactly pouring into our mailbox at the moment.
If they were, I’d have an excuse to buy a new little black dress and fancy shmancy shoes I’d wear once before selling them on consignment at the local Salvation Army.
If you’re not a party pooper like me, you may have an excuse to buy that dress… and get your arms and shoulders in shape, ready for the Big Reveal when you take off your shrug.
Here are a few tips for stellar shoulders that look good in any dress, sleeveless top or strapless gown….
First a couple of general tips:
1.OVERHEAD PRESS: These may be done with dumbbells, tubing or kettlebells.
2. LATERAL RAISES: Tubing, dumbbells or kettlebells also work well here.
REVERSE FLY: These are awkward at first but hit those oft forgotten rear deltoid muscles
2. Squeeze your shoulder blades together as you bring weights up and out to the sides, keeping elbows slightly bent.
LET’S CHAT… What exercises do you like to do for shoulders? Let me know by commenting down below…
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Got questions? Email me at email@example.com! I’d love to hear from you.
Your Ageless Body Coach,
Linda Melone is a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist, certified trainer and award-winning health and fitness writer. She specializes in helping women over 50 get in shape and lose weight.