I watched a documentary about frozen people the other night.
Not those living in Siberia or Antarctica, but real deal frozen-like-a-Snow-Cone people who voluntarily opt to freeze their bodies after death in the hopes of coming back once a cure is found for whatever landed them six feet under.
What could go wrong?
First, you’re dead. So there’s that.
(Warning! Grossness ahead.)
Second, after you are declared officially seriously dead, your body is drained of all blood. It’s replaced with an anti-freeze solution to “stop harmful crystals from forming.”
I’m pretty sure if you’re dead those crystals don’t mean bupkis. But I’m no expert.
The body is then slowly frozen in a series of lower and lower nitrogen gas sessions until you bottom out at a body temperature of -320° F. The brain is removed separately (YUCK!), literally shrunken, and kept apart from the body for reasons which I was too grossed out over to pay attention.
At this point, the body is sent to a
giant popsicle farm patient care bay where it remains until science advances enough to cure whatever killed the person.
As someone who dresses in 17 layers when the mercury dips below 60° F, count me out.
Plus, it costs approximately $200,000 to have yourself frozen, although you can have just your head frozen for a mere $80,000.
The documentary showed the boxes of heads (just the boxes, no actual heads could be seen, thankfully) stacked in a vat of liquid nitrogen not unlike piles of frozen turkeys in the deli department at Thanksgiving.
I have no words.
But I DO have about 8,000 questions, but I’ll bring up just three:
1. Do we have ANY proof at all that this reanimation process works? As far as I can tell: NO, aside from certain types of worms that seem to be none the worse for wear. But worms. So essentially the planet would be populated with thawed out people with shrunken brains and rehydrated worms. Nope, once again.
2. What if you are “accidentally” revived when someone forgets to replace the liquid nitrogen or turns on a space heater in the lab? My guess: It won’t be pretty.
3. What happens if you’re busy doing something totally wonderful in another lifetime or on “the other side,” [adjust this statement to suit your belief system], and then comes that fateful knock comes at the door. “Sue, they just rehydrated your body and you’re going to need to come with us.” YOU: “But wait, let me just finish this poker game with Elvis first… NOOoooo!”
Plus, your friends will all be long gone. You’ll be sitting at parties wearing outdated clothes trying to figure out how to telepathically communicate with everyone else in the room, while they secretly laugh and send each other mental photos about you on brain-installed apps with names like SpaceAlienMatchUp and BlackHoleFaceTime.
But here on earth, many people would jump at the chance to freeze off a body part or two if it meant having a flat stomach, worm friends or not.
I am, of course, specifically talking about: the lower belly pooch.
Next to belly fat and weight loss in general, I get the most emails asking about this trouble spot.
No matter whether you’re fit, thin or out of shape, every women going through menopause will notice a bit (or a lot) more around their lower abdominal area. It’s often more accurately referred to as a “menopot.”
This “pot” tends to migrate downward (which it does not typically do in men, for reasons which I can only assume is a government conspiracy), causing a “poochy,” well, pooch.
Unlike the four-legged puppy variety, it’s not something any of us wants.
I keep harping about how weight gain isn’t inevitable, but this weight shift unfortunately is, and it happens due to a non-negotiable hormonal shift associated with menopause.
The biggest contributing factor to the pooch is your diet along with the lack of muscle tone in that area.
And add these lower-belly exercises into your routine two to three times a week to target that unruly pooch:
REVERSE CRUNCH WITH BALL
LOWER AB CRUNCH ON CHAIR
Other posts you may enjoy:
Which of these exercises will you incorporate into your ab routine this week? Let me know in the comment section below…
And please share and forward this with your friends if you like this info! I’ll be forever grateful. ♥
Your Ageless Body Coach,
Linda Melone is a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist, certified trainer and award-winning health and fitness writer. She specializes in helping women over 50 get in shape and lose weight.